BOOK INFO
Publisher: Comet Press
Length: 250 Pages
Release Date: November 2, 2015
Review copy provided in exchange for an honest review as part of the blog tour for Die Dog or Eat The Hatchet
Adam Howe is an author that has been on my radar since the end of 2015. I remember reading a copy of his novella Gator Bait and being instantly drawn in by his totally unique brand of storytelling and placing it in my top 5 novellas of the year. Howe has an early writing credit that I am sure many authors would kill to have – his story “Jumper” won the On Writing contest judged by Stephen King and appears in the paperback and ebook edition. How cool is that? After reading Gator Bait, I was excited to read more of Howe’s work so I jumped at the chance to be a part of his blog tour for Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, a collection of three novellas!
Damn Dirty Apes
Synopsis: Washed-up prizefighter Reggie Levine is eking a living as a strip club bouncer when he’s offered an unlikely shot at redemption. The Bigelow Skunk Ape – a mythical creature said to haunt the local woods – has kidnapped the high school football mascot, Boogaloo Baboon. Now it’s up to Reggie to lead a misfit posse including a plucky stripper, the town drunk, and legend-in-his-own-mind skunk ape hunter Jameson T. Salisbury. Their mission: Slay the beast and rescue their friend. But not everything is as it seems, and as our heroes venture deeper into the heart of darkness, they will discover worse things waiting in the woods than just the Bigelow Skunk Ape. The story the Society for the Preservation of the North American Skunk Ape tried to ban; Damn Dirty Apes mixes Roadhouse with Jaws with Sons of Anarchy, to create a rollicking romp of 80s-style action/adventure, creature horror and pitch-black comedy.
Reggie Levine is the head bouncer (make that the only bouncer) of a backwoods strip club called The Henhouse. Reggie’s claim to fame (if you can really call it that) was his one and only prize-fight against “Boar Hog” Brannon. His boss Walt proudly displays a news cutting that says “BIGELOW BOY BRUTALIZED IN PRIZE FIGHT”, which says all you really need to know about the outcome of that match. After the fight, Levine took a job at The Henhouse and his penchant for brawling make him the perfect bouncer.
I have to admit out of all of the stories that make up Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, I think Damn Dirty Apes is my clear-cut favorite.As I read, I have a tendency to scribble down notes and highlight passages I liked so that when I go back to write my reviews, I can revisit my favorite passages. As I was reading, I noticed how much I was highlighting. Hell, I might as well have highlighted the whole book! Howe’s writing crackles with energy and the crisp dialogue, humorous observations, and action-packed scenes had me glued to the pages. I can’t remember the last time I had this much pure fun reading a story.
I also loved the twists that Howe was able to weave throughout this story. Let’s face it any story where Swamp Apes are going to play a prevalent role is going to be pretty original and full of surprises, but even with taking that into consideration, this story still had plenty of twists that kept me hooked.
Reggie Levine is also one of my favorite characters of any book I have read lately. He is not exactly what you would picture when you are thinking of a leading action hero. Sure, he was a professional fighter at one point, but his physique and training has gone downhill since losing to “Boar Hog” Brannon. That being said, Reggie’s personality is entertaining as hell and you can’t help but root for him throughout the course of this novella. Sure, he is able to dish out some punishment, but what makes you respect him is his ability to keep getting back up after taking one hell of a beating. While that loss to “Boar Hog” Brannon seems to hang over him like a specter, Reggie Levine finally gets a shot at redemption in one of the oddest fights I have ever come across and definitely didn’t see coming when I started reading Damn Dirty Apes. I know Howe is writing another story featuring Reggie and I hope it is the first of many new adventures!
Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet
Synopsis: Escaped mental patient Terrence Hingle, the butcher of five sorority sisters at the Kappa Pi Massacre, kidnaps timid diner waitress Tilly Mulvehill and bolts for the border. Forcing his hostage to drive him out of town, it’s just a question of time before Tilly becomes the next victim in Hingle’s latest killing spree. But when they stop for gas at a rural filling station operated by deranged twin brothers, Dwayne and Dwight Ritter, the tables are turned on Hingle, and for Tilly the night becomes a hellish cat-and-mouse ordeal of terror and depravity. The meat in a maniac sandwich, Tilly is forced against her nature to make a stand and fight for survival. Because sometimes the only choice you have is to do or die…to Die Dog Or Eat The Hatchet.
Die Dog or Eat The Hatchet is probably the closest thing to straightforward horror in this collection, offering an original take on the serial killer genre. Howe’s portrayal of the serial killer Terrence Hingle is excellent and he is by far one of the most deranged villains I have read about in a while. Well, maybe until the introduction of the Ritter siblings at least! Howe introduces readers to Hingle’s depravity with a chilling opening where we see his penchant for violence and his utterly warped worldview. What makes him so terrifying is that he appears harmless from a physical standpoint. That outward appearance of normalcy coupled with his intelligence and patience that he honed from a very young age make him an unstoppable monster. However, Hingle has definitely met his match with the Ritter siblings. Even though Hingle’s childhood was rough, he is sort of the epitome of a more sophisticated villain that can hide in plain sight. The Ritter siblings on the other hand are the polar opposite, they are much more crude in the way they commit their crimes. I thought it was awesome to see two very different forms of serial killers pitted against each other and the results of their chance encounter were definitely a surprise.
While the idea of a serial killer grudge match is what initially interested me in this novella, I ended up being more invested in Tilly’s evolution as a character. She is portrayed as a total pushover with little to no confidence when she is introduced. As the story progresses, Howe throws her right into one hellish nightmare after another that would break even the most hardened people. Without giving too much away about this story, Tilly responds in a way that definitely shocked me and marks a transformation of her as a character.
There are quite a few scenes in here that are truly horrific and definitely not meant for those with weak stomachs!
Gator Bait
Synopsis: Prohibition-era 1930s… After an affair with the wrong man’s wife, seedy piano player Smitty Three Fingers flees the city and finds himself tinkling the ivories at a Louisiana honky-tonk owned by vicious bootlegger Horace Croker and his trophy wife, Grace. Folks come to The Grinnin’ Gator for the liquor and burlesque girls, but they keep coming back for Big George, the giant alligator Croker keeps in the pond out back. Croker is rumored to have fed ex-wives and enemies to his pet, so when Smitty and Grace embark on a torrid affair…what could possibly go wrong? Inspired by true events, Gator Bait mixes hardboiled crime (James M. Cain’s The Postman Always Rings Twice) with creature horror (Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive) to create a riveting tale of suspense.
I have always been a fan of both noir and neo-noir stories and films, but almost everything I have been exposed to in the two genres was exclusively urban. So it was a blast of fresh air to read a story that had everything I loved about the genre but set in the humid swamps of Louisiana instead of the traditional bustling city. Then there is the presence of Big George, an enormous alligator that has a taste for human flesh. He has a legendary history and strikes fear in the hearts of those who are brave (or dumb) enough to cross Croker. I don’t know why, but there is just something badass about a guy who has his own killing machine at his disposal.
While reading Gator Bait, it’s no secret what the future holds for a guy like Smitty Three Fingers. That being said watching him blunder through the same situations that got him in trouble in the big city is all part of the fun that makes up this novella. Howe is also unflinchingly honest with his portrayal of his characters and mixes racial tensions throughout the course of the novella. This isn’t purely for shock value, but rather adds authenticity to the story and his characters.
Thoughts on the collection
While I gave my thoughts for each individual novella, there are traits in each one that make this an absolute must-own collection. One of the things I am drawn too in most books I read is the author’s characterization and the way they utilize details to bring their stories to life. Howe is a master at these components of writing and there were so many times I would just shake my head in awe at his ability to paint a portrait of a character or a scene. In Damn Dirty Apes, Howe nails the images of the biker gang with accurate and hilarious nicknames. You have Blubberguts, Smiley, Shitface and Baby Doll. Blubberguts alone is an accurate name that conjures up a vivid description. My favorite description is that of the leader Chains who “…wore a Confederate flag do-rag, and a hoop toss of rusted iron chains around his neck, like a skid row Mr. T”.
Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet has elements of horror throughout, but it is not strictly a horror collection. Howe crams in bits and pieces of various genres to create stories that are wonderfully weird, highly addictive, and that defy easy classification. What impressed me the most while reading Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet is the originality and confidence that is evident on the pages. Howe has a unique voice and in my opinion, that is the greatest tool in his arsenal. I am sure Howe spends a lot of time working on his craft, but his writing appears effortless and it is like the stories just flow straight from his imagination with ease. My stack of books to review is reaching mythical proportions, but I am definitely going to grab a copy of Howe’s other collection Black Cat Mojo and any other future releases he puts out, regardless of genre. He is that good. I am a fan for life and would recommend Howe’s work to any reader who is feeling a bit adventurous. Highly recommended!
Rating: 5/5
LINKS
Purchase Die Dog or Eat The Hatchet: Amazon (US), Amazon (UK), Barnes & Noble, or grab a copy from your favorite bookstore!
Use these hashtags to help spread the word about Die Dog or Eat The Hatchet!- #DieDogorEattheHatchet #DieDog #AdamHowe #OnWriting #HookofaBook
Praise for Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet
“It’s an explicit, hard-hitting, twisted funhouse ride into pulpish horror wrapped loosely in a tattered skein of irreverent, jet black humor. In short, it’s a freakin’ blast.” – Walt Hicks, author of Dirge of the Forgotten
“With Die Dog Or Eat the Hatchet, Adam Howe hasn’t written one of my favorite books of the year, he’s actually written three of my favorites. Stories that are tight, toned, and genre-confounding. Horror fans and crime fans are going to come to blows over who gets to claim Howe as one of their own, but they’re both going to be wrong because Howe’s his own thing.” – Adam Cesare, author of Tribesmen and Mercy House
“The recipe for Adam Howe’s DIE DOG OR EAT THE HATCHET is: Two parts Joe Lansdale, One part Justified, and a heavy dose of WTF. The result is a swampy cocktail darker than any backwoods hayride, stronger than the meanest Sasquatch, and crazier than anything you’ll find chicken-fried at your local state fair.”—Eryk Pruitt, author of Hashtag and Dirtbags
“Adam Howe proves with the three stories in this book that he can basically write anything. And write it very well indeed. To summarise: A three novella collection that you absolutely must have in your collection. I give this one the highest possible recommendation that I can.” – Nev, Confessions of a Reviewer
“Adam Howe’s “Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet,” is equal parts terror and fun, his dark comedic voice dances through each of the works in this collection to create engaging stories filled with bars, dames, rabid dogs, and an ape with one hell of a right hook.” – Nathan Crazybear/Splatterpunk Zine
“Once again this author has sucked me into the darkness of his stories and unleashed the twisted, disgusting and stomach churning madness that I come to expect. In fact, I would have been very disappointed if this book was not even more mind-blowing than Black Cat Mojo. And he did not disappoint. Hats off to Mr. Howe for creating this magnificent novella of pure horror. I would definitely recommend this to readers of horror and make sure you buckle up as you will be in for the most twisted ride of your life!” – Crime Book Junkie
“I’m pretty certain that whatever genre you like to read, be it pulp, noir, horror, anything really, you will find something to enjoy here. It’s fast paced, action packed and brilliantly written. Comet Press has got a diamond on their hands! 5 stars” – Adrian Shotbolt
About Adam Howe
Adam Howe writes the twisted fiction your mother warned you about. A British writer of fiction and screenplays, he lives in Greater London with his partner and their hellhound, Gino. Writing as Garrett Addams, his short story Jumper was chosen by Stephen King as the winner of the On Writing contest, and published in the paperback/Kindle editions of SK’s book; he was also granted an audience with The King, where they mostly discussed slow vs. fast zombies. His fiction has appeared in Nightmare Magazine, Thuglit, The Horror Library, Mythic Delirium, Plan B Magazine, and One Buck Horror. He is the author of two collections, Black Cat Mojo and Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet, plus the eBook single, Gator Bait. Future works include Tijuana Donkey Showdown, One Tough Bastard, and a crime/horror collaboration with Adam Tribesmen Cesare.
Find him on Twitter at @Adam_G_Howe.
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